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whiskey-larone

When someone always one ups you.

When someone always one ups you.

124:

rock fan: rap sucks, they don’t talk about anything that matters
the beatles: I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus, goo goo goo joob

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wild-guy:

Kelly Rowland texting Nelly via Microsoft Excel and then getting annoyed when he doesn’t text back.

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There are times I just wanna say “no bitch, I don’t care about your feelers.” But I can’t and I won’t.

Sometimes being nice and doing the right thing fucking sucks.

My co-worker said she was going to punch me for being too loud. Well, if you want to get dragged up and down the hallway, then down the stairs by your greasy hair, bitch do it.

When Tinder Fails

Seriously the two other people living inside me have let me take baths with strangers and slammed my hand in the door.

The 2 other people I become when I’m drunk are a slutty nun and a big black vampire. Both scare the shit out me.